Those who do not study History are Doomed to get Really Confused Reading Henry VI, Part I

~or~
Henry VI, Part I, part minus one.

Here I am to do the weekly update of the Bardblog. I know most people read this not for a little chuckle or an insight into the works of the greatest playwright ever. No, they are just fascinated with the little details of my life. Well, the week so far has not been particularly noteworthy. (A pause for all my groupies to shed a quiet tear.) We went to see a baseball game at Camden Yards. We sat in the bleachers, which is always a risk. The line between the cool, die-hard fan, and the annoying, drunken fan is a fine one. We had cool, die-hard fans in front of us, and annoying, drunken fans behind us. The annoying, drunken fans kept taunting the opposing team with the following razz: "Hey (opposing team player)! You've got a little-boy hair cut!! Look at (opposing team player)'s little-boy hair cut!"

What a jibe, huh? It's amazing that the opposing team (the Blue Jays), managed to pull off a 15-3 win, "with scoffs, and scorns, and contumelious taunts" like that.

That last quote is from King Henry VI, Part I, act 1, scene vi. And that, my friends, is as close as we'll be coming to a seamless transition today.

King Henry VI. Poor sot. The boy king who pretty much blew it, as near as I can tell. He also made for one darn convoluted play. It is going to be challenging to lay out the action for you. Clearly, the corner Ye Olde PlotsandMore! Shoppe was having a buy one, get three free sale (hurry on in whilst supplies last!) when poor old Will set quill to scroll for this one.

Before we get into the play, there is something you should know. I am having a devil of a time figuring out how to deal with this puppy. It covers an intense time in British history; lots of plot, intrigue and the fate of great families being tossed about. People's names keep changing, as their family fortunes rise and fall (e.g., Lord Whatsis becomes Duke Whosis, flirts with the Church and becomes Cardinal Howsis, etc.). Not only that, but Shakespeare dealt somewhat fast and loose with the historical details, God bless 'em. Partly to improve the entertainment value of the work, partly to stay in the ruling house's good graces, and partly just because of the limitations of the medium. And on top of all that, the play does not appear to be much about Henry VI at first glance, but more about the Ways of History, Power and Fortune, in general. Although I can't be sure, because I haven't read King Henry VI part II yet, let alone the no-doubt rip-roaring and intellectually illuminating part III. The whole thing is barely comprehensible as a play; near impossible to make sense of in a blog. (A medium whose entries generally run their course in the matter of a few paragraphs, much as I may struggle to push the quantitative boundaries of the medium. 'I'm not long-winded, I'm just different.'-the self-affirming mantra with which the author must begin and end each writing session.)

That said, I do tip my hat to Shakespeare. I think dealing with historical chronology is a challenging but clever way to cut one's teeth as a playwright. Challenging, of course, because unless you're Oliver Stone, facts are facts, and they don't necessarily lend themselves to a compelling story, let alone an intelligible story arc. Characters show up in Act I, scene i who I suspect don't contribute a thing to plot or meaning until the last act of the third play. (By which time their titles and allegiences have changed about 7 times, unlike (I hope) their costumes. If these guys are not color-coded, the audience doesn't stand a chance without the text in front of them.)

(Overheard at my imaginary viewing of King Henry VI, Part I:
'Wait- Bedford's the one in the blue velvet pantaloons, right? And Plantagenet - I mean York - they're the same anyway, right? But anyway York is the one in the golden culottes? That's what you call those funny little pants, right? Or is that Gloster in the gold? And which one was that guy in the one scene before intermission in the red. You know, with the puffy hat. I think he had a speech, but I can't remember what it was. Is he French or English?'

'Shhhhh! We can talk about it on the way home. I need to concentrate on which one is helping the Lancastrians right now!! And I have no idea what culottes are.')

Grappling with historical events is clever, too, I suspect, because it forces one to learn the inner-workings of your trade. The severe plot and character development constraints restrict the author's ability to create something new, but also leaves him free to focus on what he can do. Will finds few opportunities for great speechifying and soliloquies here. The story is clunky and almost none of the characters are lovable. He must make do with what he has, and play with plot devises, timing, exposition and character development within strict boundaries. He can learn the art of the theatrical possible. King Henry VI, Part I is sort of like Shakespeare's Apprenticeship. Happily, he did not have Donald Trump there to fire him off the show.

Okay, here we go:
First, you need to know, as I assume most of the audience knew back in 1591 when this puppy was first performed, some of the back history. The English crown had legitimate claims to at least part of the French realm, and possibly to the French crown itself, when the whole mess began in 1337. The English ruling house at that time was the Plantagenets, and the claim can be traced back to Eleanor of Acquitaine marrying Henry II of the Plantagenent dynasty (Katherine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole in A Lion in Winter, you may recall.) Eventually, the Plantagenent house has the only direct claim to the French throne. The French sort of decide to change the inheritence laws (and no doubt debated getting rid of the death-tax for well-born nobles), so that the English can't claim the crown. Shockingly, the English are not down with this sniveling legal move. Of equal importance, France is rich in resources, and the English rich in greedy nobles. Care for a spot of pillaging, anyone? The Hundred Years War begins. (As a side note, the French have now screwed up their dynastic inheritance laws, which will cause whole heaps of mess and unrest for them in the future unrelated to the English and the Hundred Years War. Everyone starts claiming everything. What a pain.)

The war plods on; the French have a lot more manpower (something like a 4:1 advantage), and much greater natural resources. The English have the experienced soldiers, having practiced on themselves (in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland) in recent years. The French get their butts whuped several times, but the English don't seem to make much progress in actually settling anything. (The Plague isn't helping anyone, either.) Things sort of fall into an uncomfortable ceasefire for a while. Most are happy about this except many of the English nobles. They seem to have found their inner-pirate, and have grown to really enjoy pillaging all the gold, wine, cheese and other glories of the French countryside.

The awkward ceasefire comes to an end when Richard II, and the Plantagenet dynasty, is usurped by he who shall become Henry IV of the house of Lancaster. It is now 1399, and the on-again, off-again Hundred Years War has been chugging along for 62 years or so. Partly due to French raids on the British coast, partly to distract the English nobles from the fact that he usurped the throne, Henry VI heats up the fight in France. The inner-pirate nobles are happy about this, and no one puts up too much of a fuss about the usurping thing. Little "progress" is made by either side in the war, until VI's son, Henry V, comes to power. Henry V whups butt and takes names. In fact, he doesn't just take names, he takes swathes of French territory. Things are not going well for the French.

Then Henry V suddenly dies, worn out by war. He is only 35. More importantly, his son, Henry VI, is only 1. The play begins at the casket of Henry V.

That's the important back story. Believe me or believe me not, but I left out a ton (especially about all the marriages and politicking and military technology etc.). If you want to learn more, I never found one single good source online, but you can start at at this Hundred Years groupie site.

You can't say you don't learn something when you read this here bardblog.

I'm going to call it quits for today. I'm already over 1500 words, and I've grown weary of fielding comments like, "I love your blog, but it is SOO long! It must take you forever to write - it sure takes forever to read." Ahh, constructive criticism.

Repeat the blog-matra with me: 'I'm not long-winded, I'm just different.'